Another payroll fiasco

The owner of the company were work for is one who prefers to handle his payroll himself. This would seem acceptable enough. Except, he has proven over and over again that he is not as competent in that department as one would expect someone doing payroll to be.

In fact, he has become notorious for fucking up payroll in one way or another every time it rolls around. I would even go so far as to say that it is more of a surprise when he actually does everything correctly. It's beyond ridiculous.

Here's a fact: we never know for sure when or how much we will get paid after each pay period. Both factors are a result of his incompetence with respect to doing payroll.

But on top of this, the nor knowing how much also had to do with the complexity of the bonus structure that he and his business partner established. I won't go into much detail about that, except to say this: Our bonus is based on a percentage of the company's income, the total of which is not disclosed to us. So there's no way for us to be certain we receive exactly what we're supposed to.

In the end, we are left with an impossible situation that prevents us from creating or maintaining a budget. In these circumstances we are left financially strained. All of it sucks.

So how was your day?

Lunchtime Standoff

Midday was filled with drama in the office today. Around noon, a few people started getting hungry. Jake asked me what I was going to do for lunch. Of course, as I had been working hard like I always do, I had not thought about lunch. I figured a grilled chicken salad was the way to go. Jake suggested "Toxic Hell" (a.k.a. Taco Bell), which I found agreeable, although I didn't think I'd be able to go myself.

Tam piped up, "Does anybody want to eat today?" Of course, everyone wanted to eat. No one could decide what we wanted or who would go pick it up. Bibi's, Thyme Out Deli, Taco Bell, Buffalo Wild Wings, Jason's Deli, and Dominos Pizza were all suggested.

Not to worry though, the dilemma has been resolved. Three large, one-topping pizzas are on the way from Dominos Pizza. Congratulations to the pizza industry.

Let's Misbehave!

We had a fantastic time seeing Jake perform in the Gay Chorus of Houston's show "Lets Misbehave". There were a lot of great surprises, including Jake wearing a tutu. As well as the anticipated appearance of Mayor of Houston, Annise Parker, who conduct one of the songs performed.

Bravo.

Lost in Imaginary Conversation

Smith: Why are you crying?

Jake: I'm not crying. [Jake wipes his eyes.]

Smith: Yes you are! You're totally crying!

Jake: Why do you have to be so observant?

Smith: What are you crying about?

Jake: Ohhh, I'm just crying about Lost.

Smith: Oh dear Jesus.

Jake: WHAT!? It's my absolute most favoritest show like everrr! And after tomorrow, Lost will be over! And I don't know if I can live without Lost! Without Lost I'm just lost!

Smith: We'll find you another show.

Jake: [The pitch in Jake's voice rises dramatically.] I don't WANT another show!!

Smith: ...or you can just pout. Whatever you want. [Smith turns and walks away.]

Strange Fascinations

I've come to realize that I have a fascination with catastrophic airplane crashes. I suppose it's one of those instances in the human experience where we come to realize how small we are. Not only is nature itself capable of wiping out hundreds or thousands of us in one clean swoop, but also the giant machines we create to accommodate our modern human lifestyles.

The most recent catastrophe in Mangalore, India eliminated 150 lives in an instant. In this case, it is likely that most of the passengers, although aware of the hazardous weather conditions outside their aircraft, had no idea they were about to die until the last few seconds of flight. However, this is not always the case.

The most horrific jetliner crash in recent memory was that of Air France Flight 447, which broke apart in mid-air over the Atlantic Ocean during a flight from Rio de Janeiro to Paris, killing all 228 people on board. The terror that must have been felt when, after experiencing severe turbulence, the enormous aircraft you were relaxing comfortably in only moments before starts breaking into pieces and plummet toward the ocean. Experts have said that the physical force of wind at that speed probably killed most of the passengers before they hit water.

Anyway, I'm just saying, if they recovered my body from such a crash, they would likely be able to conclude that I had shit my pants at some point before impact.

Here's What's Exciting...

I just returned from seeing Iron Man 2 in the theater with Dayna. I loved it so many times over and I will probably watch it until I've memorized all the cool lines, just as I did with part 1. Director Jon Favreau creates some fantastic movies, and I don't believe there could have been a better actor to play the lead character than Robert Downey Jr.

I am a little disappointed that actor Terrence Howard, who played "Rhodey" in Iron Man, was replaced by Don Cheadle in the sequel. Granted, Cheadle is an A-list actor while Howard is C+ at best. However, Terrence Howard is a decent actor who is almost always cast as a character that the audience comes to hate. It was very refreshing to see him on the good side of things in a role that he filled perfectly. Booting him for a better name was disrespectful and unnecessary. I definitely didn't go see, nor was I even more inclined to see, Iron Man 2 because it was co-starring Don Cheadle. So to whoever made that decision: fuck you and everyone who looks like you.

What I'm most excited about is that Iron Man 2 was pretty clearly open-ended. At least it seemed that way to me. So there is more to come! Unfortunately, if this is the case, the number of years between the first two parts indicates that we shouldn't expect Iron Man 3 any time soon. But this is okay, I still have about 8,011 times to watch this super sexy sick movie!

Thank you, and good morning.

Pizza Friday

We ordered pizza for an office lunch today. I suppose maybe it's an early Mother's Day celebration. Jake was a little nervous about it because he's been made to feel like a bad robot this week by "Ms. Process". He thought it was going to turn out to be some kind of finger-pointing affair. But just as he often finds out, not everything is always about him.

MQ was reluctant to eat pizza from Domino's due to their reputation of discrimination against our gay brothers and sisters. He won't stand for it. But nevertheless, I've never seen someone eat so much homophobic pizza in my life! By the way, I will also say that I've never seen anyone eat lunch and answer so many phone calls at the same time like he can. The man's got talent.

Thank you and good afternoon.

Guess what.

This shit is back!

WSY???

So J...what say you and I get this thang going again???!!!

I'm thinking...something fun, something entertaining, something mind-blowing, even better...mind-numbing...let's grab hold of everyone from the four corners of the earth..."Global Domination" sound good to you???!!!

I know, I know...you're thinking...that couldn't possibly be so!!!

I do beg to differ....we could certainly show the world "As Seen Through The Eyes Of J&J".

Your thoughts???

currently listening to...


check it out...
Ladytron

Hills' Bold and the Beautiful...and Vain

I've been reading some disturbing stories about Hillsong and its underlying depravities, which are coming to light with the help of some disgruntled worshipers. Although Darlene has not yet been the principal subject of any accounts.

Brian and Bobbie are significant characters, though, among many other "leaders" of the church. The stories illustrate them with baneful and corrupt characteristics. They love their Hillsong empire, theirselves, and God. Probably in that order.

Bobbie seems to have become the Fergie of the Christian scene. She released a 3-disc set, according to a Bulletin article, called Kingdom Women Love Sex. She later changed it to She Loves and Values Her Sexuality. She knows that even in church skin is in, sex sells, and it's "never far away from this brand of Christianity."

When Brian comes around, I wonder if her Sydney Harbour Bridge wan-na-go-down?

In the Yorktown Mall there's a Gloria Jeans coffee shop, which I hadn't seen since Jake and I were in Australia. Here's something interesting I just found out: the owners of the Gloria Jeans empire, Nabi Saleh and Peter Irvine, are both senior members of Hillsong. Peter Irvine serves as treasurer!

Somebody get me a double-espresso!!

An Imaginary Conversation (IC): Volga

Smith: Do you give a damn about your family history?

Jake: Mmm, not so much. I'm a gay Texan.

Smith: Yes, but you're also a descendant of Volga Germans.

Jake: Yesss. "Live long and prosper."

Smith: You don't get it, do you?

Jake: Yes! I get it! I'm a VOLGA!!! Ewwww.....you must fear me!

Smith: I'm shaking with terror.

Jake: ROARROARROARRRR!!!!

Smith: I gotta go.

Two failed attempts

I was disappointed over the weekend that circumstances have not yet aligned to allow Jake to visit me in Chicagoland. Both of his attempts to visit did not work out. We would have had a damn good time this weekend.

I was looking forward to exploring downtown Chicago without a limit on time. I've only been into the city a few times for a total of maybe three hours. It will still happen though. Soon enough.